Part Three: The Goal Was Never to Win a Fight. The Goal Was Always to Get Her Home.
If you want to teach your daughter self-defence, and you’ve read Parts One and Two, thank you.
If there’s one thing I hope you’ve taken away from this series, it’s that Beth and I don’t see self-defence the same way many people do.
We never have.
Because from the day we started Street Safe, we weren’t trying to create better fighters.
We were trying to create fewer victims.
That……is Street Safe Defence Training Company.
The Lie We’ve Been Sold
Every movie tells us violence is won.
Punch harder.
Kick faster.
Beat the bad guy.
Walk away victorious.
Real violence doesn’t work like that.
I’ve never met a sexual assault survivor who told me… “I wish I’d known one more wrist lock.”
I’ve never spoken to a woman who escaped an abusive relationship because she remembered Technique #42.
I’ve never had a young woman tell me… “Rob…I wish I’d learned a spinning back kick.”
Do you know what I hear?
“I knew something wasn’t right.”
“I ignored my instincts.”
“I didn’t want to be rude.”
“I didn’t think it would happen.”
That’s where violence prevention lives.
Violence Isn’t a Fight
This is where you hit them.
Violence is a human behaviour problem.
Violence is psychology.
Violence is coercive control.
Violence is manipulation.
Violence is entitlement.
Violence is isolation.
Violence is victim selection.
Violence is fear.
Violence is trauma.
Physical violence is often only the last chapter.
Rob’s Perspective
“The assault usually begins long before the first strike.”
Rob Andress
The Greatest Skill Your Daughter Will Ever Learn
Not punching.
Not kicking.
Not escaping.
Thinking.
Seeing.
Questioning.
Trusting herself.
Leaving.
Making decisions before violence removes those choices.
That……is what Beth and I have devoted our lives to teaching.
Why Street Safe Exists
30,000 young women.
Hospitals.
Northern Canada.
REALTORS®.
Police.
Airport Security.
Municipal workers.
Healthcare.
Universities.
Indigenous Communities.
After teaching Canadians for years… I’ve reached one conclusion.
Violence is patterned.
Violence is predictable.
Violence is preventable.
The Movement
People often ask me…
“What makes Street Safe different?”
I don’t think it’s our certifications.
I don’t think it’s our experience.
I don’t even think it’s our programs.
I think it’s this. We’re trying to change the conversation.
For decades we’ve talked about what happens after violence starts.
Beth and I believe it’s time Canada starts talking about how to stop violence before it ever begins.
This isn’t another self-defence program. It’s a movement toward understanding violence differently.
To Every Parent Reading This
One day…your daughter will make a decision without you standing beside her.
She’ll decide whether to trust someone.
Whether to leave.
Whether to say no.
Whether to recognize danger.
Whether to listen to that feeling in her stomach.
You won’t be there.
Her education will.
I ask you to please “Choose that education carefully.”
Rob’s Perspective
**”Your daughter may never remember every word her instructor said.
But she will remember how they taught her to think.
And one day…
that may be what brings her home.”**
Rob Andress
For more than two decades, Beth and I have had the privilege of helping Canadians understand violence.
If this series changes the way even one parent chooses who educates their daughter…
Then every word was worth writing.
Because our mission has never been to create better fighters.
Our mission has always been much simpler.
Stop the Before, So the After Never Happens.
